The Scottish Football Association have confirmed that the national team’s boycott of FIFA’s World Cup tournaments will remain in place for the foreseeable future. Scotland have declined to attend any international tournaments since 1998 due to a series of concerns about each host nation.
“Well, it all started in 2002 when Barry Ferguson insisted we take a stand against Japan’s horrendous whaling fleets“, explained an SFA spokesperson. “After that, we decided that taking a moral stand was far more rewarding than sporting glory.”
“In 2006, Gary Caldwell felt very strongly about the EU’s continued trade in torture tools. He also wasn’t happy about Germany’s complicity in US rendition flights and ejection of Syrian asylum seekers.”
The SFA spokesperson went on to express sympathy with those who protested against Friday’s friendly match with Qatar.
“We’re glad that people are now concerned with the Qatari regime’s awful human rights record, and we’re sure the Sepp Blatter and FIFA stories all over the news weren’t the only reason anyone cared. It was, however, disappointing to note that nobody gave a shit the following night when Barcelona lifted the Champions League trophy whilst sponsored by Qatar Airways.”