Former Home Secretary Jack Straw has expressed deep regret in an exclusive interview with the North British Post.
“Of course I could have handled myself better, I’ve really let myself and my family down”, explained the disgraced MP for Blackburn, referring to his recent cash-for-access scandal and suspension from the Labour party.
“I keep going over and over it in my head, wondering how I could have been so stupid. I thought that £5,000 for a day’s lobbying was a good, competitive price, so I was sick to my stomach when I saw that Malcolm Rifkind was charging £8,000 for just a morning.”
Surely this must be the final word on the ongoing “Vote SNP, get Tory”, “Vote SNP, get a UKIP-Green hybrid” and “Vote Green, get lucky with an unwashed activist” nonsense.
Here is the government’s own Cabinet Manual, released in October 2011, subtitled “a guide to laws, conventions and rules on the operation of government”. If you’re so inclined, you can read the whole thing here, but I’ve picked out the important bits below.
You might notice a distinct lack of anything stating “the largest party gets to be the government”…
A spokesman for the so-called “Islamic State” has launched a scathing attack on the “constant petty, snide and frankly passive-aggressive comments” from western journalists.
“It got old pretty damn quickly”, snarled Muhammad al-Siddiq, supposed director of communications for the group.
“I mean, you never hear Jon Snow referring to the so-called Saudi regime or the pretendy Iranian president. I’ve never seen air quotes around the Taliban’s name. We might have to start addressing our videos to the self-proclaimed ‘journalists’ at Channel 4 News, in the nominal United ‘Kingdom’.”
The statement concluded prematurely as Mr al-Siddiq stormed off, ranting incoherently.